So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
