True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He did a backflip because drugs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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