i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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