she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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