If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My ATM looks so different sober.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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