Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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