As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
