Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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