im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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