And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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