The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
