I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
