I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
