That's intense
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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