I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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