Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
