You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
