hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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