Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
