I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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