new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
