the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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