I just made out with a guy for $7.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
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Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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