so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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