its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
