I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
