apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
