hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
