guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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