Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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