Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
