it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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