Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
