You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize