O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Who died my cat blue again?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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