im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
