I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
