she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
