I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
