I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize