i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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