Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
