Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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