if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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