I wanna passion pit in your ass
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
