i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
