I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
