Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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