I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
