You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
