i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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