Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
