This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
