Define "chronic" masturbator.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
