the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize