Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
