i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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