There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
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you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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