I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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