Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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