Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
