@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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